2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
