I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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