He uses pillows to masturbate.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
