We named our party play list daddy issues
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
