Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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