I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I think I just sharted jello shots
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