If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
