oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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