so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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