i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
