call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
