the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My penis needs a shock collar
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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