I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
