i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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