I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
