Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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