I could make wine with my vomit
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
