I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
