I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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