we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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