3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
