i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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