There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
