I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
