you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize