The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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