Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
