so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
