wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
