Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
