if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
