the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
