Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
