let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
