and i looked up. we had an audience...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
