I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
