and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
