I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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