I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
