Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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