I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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