Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
