You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
