i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
