I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
