My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
