OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is it penis luge time yet?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
