i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
