Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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