Will you blow on my dice?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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