I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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