i was rollin on her like bob the builder
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
