so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
