Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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