Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
