Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
