i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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