His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
someone owes me an orgasm
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize