Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
